January 2023
By Richard Fleming
This post refers exclusively to the common mental lapses of aging. It does not apply to dementia. Dementia is a serious and sad disease that robs people of their identity and self. Many of us have family and friends suffering from dementia. I will write about this condition in the blog at some point, but now is not the time.
Senior moments are unfairly saddled with a bad rap. Brief memory lapses are common at all ages. But labeling them senior moments turns them into a source of ridicule. When a young person forgets a name or engagement, they are chucklingly accused of having a senior moment. Ha ha. When an older person forgets a name or engagement, people often comment with a wry smile, “You’re having another senior moment.”
But disrespect of senior moments comes to an end, right here and right now. I embrace my senior moments. You will see what I mean by the end of this post. And I hope you will come to value yours also. Senior moments can be cute. They are often endearing. And just because their frequency increases as our years accumulate is no reason to view them with disdain.
What causes senior moments? They are probably due to misfires in the electrical circuits in the brain’s hippocampus, where memories are stored. But these short circuits are momentary. Though I was not taught this in medical school, I envision a microscopic team of skilled electricians and cleaners busily reattaching loose wires and sweeping away the cobwebs which accumulate deep in our skulls. Our brain’s nimble repair people help us retrieve memories that are briefly misplaced.
Senior moments are delightful precisely because they are moments. Their duration is brief. Last week, I traipsed forgetfully down the length of the canned goods aisle at Raley’s Grocery Store. I then remembered I was seeking mayonnaise, one row over. See, it didn’t take long. I was at least in the general vicinity of where I needed to be. And I got in some extra walking. A month ago I spent several minutes wandering aimlessly around the dining room. I knew my journey had a purpose but could not recall what it was. Suddenly I spied a lone coaster on the dining room table. This prompted me to remember I had trekked to that room to retrieve the coaster. Mission accomplished. No harm, no foul.
Try telling me these episodes aren’t a bit charming.
Consider your own senior moments. That time you forgot a friend’s name, but remembered it just in time to avoid embarrassment. Or when you couldn’t recall who became president after Nixon resigned. You ended up remembering Gerald Ford pretty quickly, even though you had a small assist from Google. You have to admit these kinds of glitches are kind of cute. Certainly they should not be a source of ridicule.
Any day of the week, I prefer senior moments to senior hours, which I sometimes experience. Senior hours share nothing in common with happy hours, when bars put drinks on sale. They are unrelated to seniors getting discounts at movie theaters at specified times. Senior hours are prolonged memory gaps that take time to clear. Sometimes I cannot for the life of me remember the title of an enjoyable movie my wife and I streamed last week. Or where we went on vacation two years ago. And these missing data points can be difficult to retrieve.
I assume senior hours are due to the brain’s cleaning crew being overworked. Thank goodness they finally manage to make progress and the data I’m seeking resurfaces.
When I forget something these days, I hope it will be a senior moment. But there are times the data remains out of reach, and I simply give up and move on. Sometimes I even forget that I forgot something. If you know what I mean.
Senior hours are still uncommon for me. But they are not rare. I periodically do a mental self-check. How am I doing on Wordle this week? Can I at least get to the Solid Level on the New York Times’ daily Spelling Bee challenge? What was the title of the last book I read for my High Crimes Book Club at Bookshop Benicia?
Fortunately – so far – I appear to be passing my mental audits. But I do wish I could reduce my cleaning crew’s workload or beef up their staffing levels so that I have more senior moments and fewer senior hours.
I hope you now understand why senior moments, in their brevity, are a source of levity more than shame. Try not to forget that our senior moments are actually reasons for optimism.
And the next time some young smart alec condescendingly accuses you of having “another senior moment,” you can respond with confidence, “Hey, whipper snapper, thank goodness it’s not another senior hour.”
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Nice post, Richard. I find that my occasional moments tend to come regarding movie names or when I digress too much in describing an incident or making a point. (Something I used to do when under the influence of, ahem, fragrant combustibles.).
As for for forgetting acquaintances’ names, that’s something I’ve always done.
If I had a nickel for every time I have returned from the garage to the place I left it for to remember why I had gone to the garage in the first place…
Good example of that (often unconscious) prejudice against elderly persons known as ageism: stereotyping “senior citizens” as uncharmingly forgetful and generally irrelevant. Very good response. I appreciated the possibly unscientific explanation of the maintenance workers in our brain.
I’m writing this comment now before I have the chance that I was going to do it. Every time I have a senior hour, I try to recall the actual symptoms of dementia and Alzheimer’s from all those years I did neuropsych evaluations at Kaiser. And figure if I can go through the list, I’m not there yet!
My thoughts about senior moments are similar to yours, and I think of all my life experiences as being the main reason why there is so much to sweep!
Some say that the secret to happiness is a short memory. By that I think they mean not holding on to what is best let go; not dwelling upon past mishaps or regrettable history. But also not forgetting entirely the connections that bring warmth and meaning to us.
More often I find myself wishing I could forget some long past incident than trying to recall what I did last week. The current challenge is usually to just be in the present moment.
I remember marveling at my 4-year-old grandson’s memory. My daughter remarked that a four-year-old doesn’t have that many memories cluttering his brain.
Thanks Richard.
I have the occasional experience of bumping into someone at Costco who I took care of in the emergency department >10 years ago, and I’ve forgotten all of the details. As I hear their story unfold, I hope and pray their experience was good.
I also just returned from a trip to Orange County to attend my auntie’s memorial service. One of my cousins was there and related a very detailed story involving me that I’d completely forgotten. Makes me wish I’d done more journaling all these years. But where’s the time and who would read these notes!