January 2023
By Richard Fleming
Driving a car these days is not what it used to be. The culture of driving has transformed. Getting behind the wheel feels more like a competitive video game than an exercise in safe transport. Driving a mile to the grocery store or 25 miles to visit the grandkids in Berkeley has become more Mario Kart and less SimCity.
When I navigate the roadways in 2023 I feel like a tortoise. Drivers routinely zip past. They cut me off at the last second to take an exit ramp. And they tailgate, even when I’m going 70 in the slow lane. I used to think right-of-way meant the car on the right had priority at a 4-way stop. I must have missed the memo when the DMV changed this rule. Now the youngest person at the intersection can dash through first. Right-of-way priority is determined by who executes the briefest rolling stop.
I am so nostalgic for the good old days when driving was a communal activity and we were all communards.
I can’t figure out what led to this change, which started 4-5 years ago. Early on, I assumed it was external factors. Perhaps driver ed classes had declined in quality. Maybe drivers didn’t realize how fast they were going because they were focused on their traffic-enabled, real-time-route-adjusting, fancy-colored-map GPS navigation systems with myriad streaming music options. Or they were caught up in multi-tasking, doing their IG (Instagram) while driving.
But I recently started to reconsider. I wonder whether the change may not be external. Maybe it is me. I don’t need a complete physical exam to know I am saddled with poorer vision, slowing reflexes, and a less flexible neck than five years ago. For much of my life, I considered senior drivers to be pokey, unsafe, risky specimens. Lo, I now meet the definition of being a senior driver.
Mind you, I’m not one of those fogeys who mosey along at 50 MPH on the freeway. I do maintain certain standards, after all.
But I tend to obey traffic regulations more carefully than I used to. Nowadays I rarely exceed the speed limit by 5 MPH, in town or on the freeway. After a few too many close calls with pedestrians in the crosswalks, my rolling stops have become primarily a historical phenomenon.
I have decided to accept the title of Mr. Tortoise as a badge of maturity. Maybe even of honor. I understand and recognize my role in the driving ecosystem has evolved. And that is why my car insurance payment is lower than my kids’.
My current approach to driving approximates Aesop’s story of The Tortoise and the Hare. I tootle along, ignoring the jackrabbits darting behind me, in front, and to my side. Let them risk life and limb. I’m on a mission. I have purpose. I motor down the road with confidence and assurance. I could care less about swooping in and out of traffic. I know the hares will run into the same number of red lights and stop signs as me. They’ll encounter just as many delays. They will find it impossible to avoid stopping at drive-through coffee shops. I much prefer consorting with the fellow tortoises in my bale than trying to emulate the denizens of a husk of hares.
Aesop’s conclusion in his fable was, “The race is not always to the swift.” I offer a slight edit: “The race is not always to the young.”
* * *
If you enjoyed this post, please consider subscribing to be notified of future posts. Subscriptions are free.
Excellent blog, Richard! I have a hack I have found to be useful. When I am in the right lane I do get tailgated as you mention even going the speed limit. I have found however that if I tuck in behind a truck that the tailgating stops. I think the Hares realize that they might intimidate me to go faster when I am alone, but with a truck in front of me, they abandon that strategy.
So true, Richard! It’s a jungle on wheels out there! Besides the unfettered speed, I can’t tolerate seeing most drivers engaged on their smartphones, young and old alike 🙁
Hi, Richard –
You’re definitely not “Mr. Tortoise.” Driving 70mph in the slow lane disqualifies you from that title. Drivers have simply become more impatient, reckless, and mindless. In part this trend became much worse during the first period of COVID when there were fewer people traveling – even on surface streets – and folks were better able to rev up their cars and dash along. (Rolling through STOP signs has always been a pet peeve of mine; if I had the power, I’d ticket those folks each time.) Yes, less keen vision and slower reflexes may affect all of us “seniors,” but EVERY driver needs to be courteous and follow the rules of the road, since – NO – the DMV hasn’t changed the basic ones.
As far as driving goes I look at it as I’ve been on the road over 50 years…..I think the experience I had has made me become the driver I am. My very first drivers training experience was to get on the freeway, drive through the Caldecott tunnel over the bridge and into the city. Trial by fire so to speak. I learned a stick when my mom bought me my first VW. Memories. I’ve taught every family member and sone friends how to drive. I’m an excellent driver. So that being said it’s all about safety now. Why because I’m old? No because I’ve seen a lot of horrible accidents in those 50 years of driving. Basically ignorance truly is bliss.
Good one, Richard, though I’ll confess that I’m not at the point where I slow down much on freeways or don’t get a bit frustrated with someone (not necessarily someone older) driving very slowly on a side street. I’ll emphasize, though, that I don’t tailgate or otherwise misbehave in response to such situations.
I wonder whether one’s perspective hinges on where you’ve driven before. Based on my limited experience there, someone who came of age driving in Italy might find our driving approaches frustratingly tame.
But my real point is closer to home. Having driven a taxi in NYC certainly affected my approach to driving, though not permanently. And having spent three years in the Boston area, I can testify to its standards being, shall we say, less cautious than California’s or perhaps any other place in America. I still recall moving out here soon after completing law school there, making a right turn into a crosswalk in Berkeley, and having a couple yell at me because they were on the other side of street and just starting to step into the same crosswalk .
My comments here aren’t so much about age, then, as about what we’re accustomed to. Even after many years in California, my frame of reference remains the Northeast USA. I’ve become more cautious with age, but still find driving here (and certainly in Benicia) far more civilized than in that part of the country.
To pick just one example, I’ve seen many drivers here (including myself) wave passengers across the street even if the drivers have the right of way. Good luck experiencing that in NYC or especially Boston.
Right on Richard! I am still in the left lane mostly, but less so. 9 mph over for me; no moving violations.
But I do notice I now drive the right lane some just to slow down and smell the roses.
I’m so delighted driving my new electric vehicle (a Bolt EUV, not a Tesla!) that I don’t even notice most of the things that used to irk me. But I’ve become extremely cautious about entering an intersection too soon after the light turns green as I seen many a driver zoom into the intersection even after their light has turned to red – almost got smacked by one about a year ago…
Just a note to let you know I’m enjoying your posts – most of them I read and feel like you’ve been rummaging through my own thoughts for your ideas. Keep up the keen observations and thanks.