The Shrinking of Bucket Lists

August 2026

By Richard Fleming

Photo courtesy of Tobi Law

A common feature of growing old is our bucket lists tend to shrink. I view this as a positive aspect of aging, though I understand some folks may feel differently. To understand the implications of our bucket list’s evolution, I want to first look at what constitutes a bucket list, then examine how this concept typically changes over a person’s lifetime.

When I researched the origin of the term, I was surprised to learn “bucket list” is a recent addition to our language. I had thought it was an idea in common use long before I was born, but this reveals the gaps in my aging memory banks. The term first appeared in 1999 when screenwriter Justin Zackham published a list of things he wanted to do before he “kicked the bucket.” Readers of his work began referring to it as Zackham’s “bucket list.” The concept caught on quickly. Previously, people certainly had goals they hoped to accomplish before they passed, but the idea of formalizing these objectives into an actual list with a defined label is a recent idea.

To-do lists in general are an old, well-established phenomenon. We all have them. They may comprise goals we need to accomplish at work. They can encompass chores we hope to complete around the house. They might involve goals for stabilizing our finances or things we want to do with our families.

But bucket lists differ from standard to-do lists in two ways. First, the due-date for the items on our list is the end of life, a time frame which is obviously uncertain. None of us knows how many years we have ahead. The calendar for achieving our bucket list goals is often loosey-goosey. Perhaps we want to see the northern lights, but should we aim for doing this in two years or in ten? If we wait for a decade, do we risk experiencing medical problems that would preclude us from seeing this magical phenomenon?

Second, the goals on our bucket lists are often grander and more aspirational than the mundane items on our everyday to-do lists. Our home to-do list may include specific items like cleaning up the garage and organizing the kitchen drawers before autumn comes. Our bucket list, on the other hand, may consist of goals like attempting skydiving at some point, or visiting ten national parks in ten different states over the next several years,

The evolution of bucket lists

In my experience, young adults don’t spend much time on bucket lists. While they often have ideas about things they want to accomplish, they have many decades of life to live. The concept of compiling a list of goals to achieve before dying is not very compelling. Of course there are some younger folks with detailed bucket lists, but this is not common, for understandable reasons.

When people move into their middle years, they become more aware the future is finite. They come to understand life does not offer endless possibilities and multiple options. As limitations become harder to ignore, it is natural to start thinking of which goals we really want to accomplish before the clock strikes midnight.

For some folks moving into middle age, bucket lists can be quite specific. They want to visit Bhutan. Or Antarctica. They plan on experiencing adventures like bungee jumping. Or whitewater rafting. They hope to learn skills like mastering a new language, or starting yoga, or learning how to throw pottery.

For other middle-aged folks, bucket lists are more general. They hope to travel more or exercise more frequently. Not surprisingly there are some middle-aged adults who don’t think in terms of bucket lists at all. But I think most folks entering the middle stages of life have in mind some things they want to do before they die.

Once people pass through their middle years and enter old age, bucket lists change. Most commonly they shrink. This happens in part because we have accomplished some of the items on our roster. But it also shrinks because we can more clearly see the approaching horizon, a fact which requires we bring out our pruning shears and pare down our list.

Now that I am in my mid-70’s, I can report I have completed a number of my bucket list items. Together with my wife, we have visited all seven continents. I have become close with my grandchildren, an important goal since I never knew my own grandparents. I started a blog on aging.

At the same time, it is patently obvious I will not be able to accomplish many other items that were previously on my bucket list. I will not be writing and publishing a best-selling novel. I will not be able to read all the classics. It is very unlikely I will gain fluency in a new language. I will not become a good photographer.

So my bucket list is smaller than it was ten years ago. Much smaller. Actually, truth be told, I don’t have much of a bucket list left. I don’t have in mind a roster of ambitious goals I would love to achieve before my time comes.

Is bucket list shrinkage a good thing?

The shrinkage of my bucket list is just fine with me. My prior bucket list was aspirational. It helped me navigate and make some decisions about my post-work life. Am I sad I did not accomplish some of the big goals? Not really. They would have been nice to achieve but hey, the goals I did complete are very satisfying.

At my age, having a pared-down bucket list reduces the pressure to achieve things. A shorter bucket list is more conducive to peaceful days, calm nights, and lower blood pressure. It is not that I have no goals and no plans for the years ahead. But I have come to understand it is better to focus on a few, most-important goals, especially involving family; travel; reading; and supporting the movement for a more sustainable, just, and equitable world.

When my time comes, I do not plan to look back with despair about the things I did not accomplish. I hope to assess my life with a sense of satisfaction for having achieved a few meaningful, beautiful goals. In fact, this approach to appraising my years on earth is the final item on my bucket list. When my day arrives, I plan to check off this final bucket list goal and think, “Mission accomplished.”

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